Feeling Emotions vs. Controlling Emotions

There are times we want to change the emotion we are feeling or resist a certain emotion. We try to feel better, try to get out of that emotion. We try to control, instead of feeling the emotions…

controlling emotions

What is Emotion?

Emotion is simply a form of energy. When we feel an emotion, it means that emotional energy is flowing through our body creating corresponding effects on the physical body. If we try to change or stop that feeling, it means we are in denial of the NOW moment. Actually, we are making judgments about what is merely energy flowing through your body at that moment.

What you are doing is to try to stop the flow of energy from moving! You are resisting an energy flow, trying to build a dam to stop it. Consequently, without knowing, you hold on to and keep that energy in your body and cause it to clog up somewhere in your body until the emotion comes up again another time so it can continue to flow, or most of the time… explode (if it has been stored and stuck for so long)!

Feeling Emotions, not Controlling Emotions

As mentioned above, emotion is an energy in motion (e-motion). You can not change that energy, you can only recognize it, acknowledge it, feel it and let it flow according to its natural flow. Emotions are not made to be stored in our bodies. Emotions were made to be felt whole and pure, in the very present moment in which it appears.

It is how we keep ourselves clear and unobstructed and stay true to ourselves, not being identified with the emotions that we have so densely packed inside over the years.

feeling emotions

However, most of us weren’t brought up that way. We learn to judge and label our emotions good or bad, positive or negative. We learn how not to feel them, how to positively get rid of the emotions we don’t like, how to control our emotions, and so on.

That is how we stop the flow of emotional energy, build a dam inside our energetic body to keep them from flowing, and over time they gradually fill up in our bodies. You become heavy, dense and melancholy because of all that stuff. You program yourself not to feel those emotions.

An Interesting Metaphor for Emotions and Feeling Emotions

Think about the baggage claim area in the airport which has a conveyor belt that carries the suitcases in a continuous rotation. Consider those suitcases as different emotions. When you are the observer, you simply let the emotions flow naturally, you just feel them come and go, then you will always be light and free, not weighed down by the overwhelming feeling of suffering or being triggered by any emotion.

Now imagine the opposite situation, you come close, pay attention to a suitcase of a certain emotion, for example, anger or anxiety, take that suitcase and say “I don’t want to feel it, I’ll change it to another emotion!”, add a story or judgments around the suitcase of that emotion, and carry it with you everywhere you go.

emotions come and go

During this special time of the mass cleansing and awakening, you will feel even more emotions in a deeper way as all of them have started to bubble up to the surface. And you probably don’t want to follow the old programming anymore. Again, visualize the baggage carousel with suitcases of different emotions, you will want to be just an observer, welcoming emotions that come and go. Because emotions are made to be felt and then they will move through us and transmuted back to the source. It is as simple as that! Emotions are made to be experienced and our souls come down here to experience and feel all kinds of emotions, and that’s it, nothing more. That is the nature of emotions!

Emotions come and go

Emotions can last for 1 minute, 20 minutes, 3 hours or a few days… But they always go away. Emotions don’t stay, they are not supposed to stay. The reason we think emotions stay so long in us is we have taken that emotional suitcase from the conveyor belt and carried it on, so attached to it that it is stuck with us, becomes us. We identify ourselves with our emotions, instead of feeling them fully and then letting them go.

When you resist, want to change your feelings or deny them, you will suffer even more because of the effort. Have the courage to feel the emotion as it is, observe and let it pass without judgment. You will see how quickly and easily it passes! Each time you’re doing just that, you will realize your own transformation to a higher level of awareness, because you were able to choose wisely not to be burdened anymore. You get to purge all the pent-up so far. You learn from the moments of being in the present reality without denying it.

Be The Observer

From now on, when an emotion comes up, allow your body to fully feel it, become the observer. For example, “A (your name – separate yourself to be an observer of your physical body) feel jealousy rising inside of his/her body!”, or “A is worried because…”, or “A’s heartbeat becomes faster, A’s hands are sweating, because he/she is feeling anger… ”. Keep repeating out loud or in your mind until you feel it all, without judging or forcing.

The emotions will go away at the end. You don’t have to be those feelings, you don’t become a good person or a bad person just because you feel certain types of emotions. There are no such good or bad emotions. Emotions are simply streams of energy flowing through you.

Observe the emotions


Watch it come, feel it fully, then let it go!

What do you think about emotions and how to deal with emotions in a healthy way? Please share your ideas and experiences in the comment section, I would love to read and reply.

Much love,
W. youhealwithgrace.com / E. grace@youhealwithgrace.com

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4 People reacted on this

  1. I really love your article!! As someone with mental illnessess I have always struggled with my emotions, not knowing which way to turn or how to feel. Still struggle now but it has been getting better over the years. I think the way you have explained emotions and how to perceive them is fantastic.

    It has definitely opened my eyes to a new way to deal with my emotions so a big thanks for that!!

    The metaphor you used hit the nail right on the head for me! It’s so easy to understand.

    Keep up the good work!!

    1. Hi Ben, thanks so much for leaving your comment letting me know that this post is helpful to you! I really appreciate your sharing with me about your struggles. ❤️ 

      I wish you all the best observing and letting go emotions and still embracing your true valuable self!!!

      Much love,


  2. Honestly emotions are very hard to control. That’s what I always thought, because when I start to feel a certain emotion I just thought that it shouldn’t be there, it should just go away, and I always thought that I could control when it come and when it goes. Now that I have read your content which is very good and inspiring, I now know that feelings and emotions shouldn’t be controlled. They are something we should just let happen in the moment, and then they would go, much quicker than when they came. So no need to block something that is only there for a short time.

    1. Hi Kemisha

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts on my post! Yes, what you said there is spot on! Glad you found my post helpful and inspring!

      All the best,


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